Categories of Human Experience

Hello friends,

Earlier this month, I wrapped up the coach training I started last October! Since then I’ve been letting the nutrients of all I’ve learned really sink into my soul. I did the Wayfinder Life Coach Training with Martha Beck, and it was a phenomenal experience. One of the most useful things I learned about in training was the Four Categories of Human Experience. Martha’s framework has its basis in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which was developed by Dr. Aaron T. Beck in the 1960’s. The four categories through which we experience the world and our own humanity include: circumstances, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Each of these is impacted by the category preceding it, save for circumstance. Allow me to illustrate:

Circumstances

What happens, the simple facts, without our spin on it. Often we have little to no control over an initial circumstance. Stories would be boring as all get-out if they ended here and everything was as simple as that. At the beginning of this progression, we have no story about what’s happened yet. Our reaction is yet to occur. These are the experiences we have with the world around us.

Thoughts

What we think about what happens. We are meaning-making creatures. Our brains process what we’ve experienced through circumstance and make it mean something. Often cultural beliefs affect how we interpret what happens. Mindfulness, the act of noticing thoughts, helps us to have more control over our thinking. This is how we experience the human brain.

Feelings

Feelings include both emotions + bodily sensations. Emotions are what we ‘feel’ viscerally. Bodily sensations are physical, like tightness or a racing heart. Both are influenced by, you guessed it, our thoughts. Our thoughts, consciously chosen or not, affect how we ‘feel’. We can have indirect control over our feelings by better choosing our thoughts. We experience feelings in our bodies.

Behaviors

What we do, action or indecision, things we say to ourselves or others. Whether it’s a split second or a drawn out decision, we experience all three previous categories before we decide what to do. We have control over what we do, but try to find something you wanted to do and didn’t where thinking or feeling didn’t affect your choice. Often our behavior informs the next circumstance.

And if that doesn’t sum up what it means to be human, I don’t know what does. Basically, shit happens, we make it mean something in our minds, our bodies might agree or disagree and will revolt if it’s the latter, and then we do or don’t do something about what happened. While this is straightforward, our thinking and our bodies are COMPLEX. Our thinking is so often influenced by culture, that what we know in our hearts, bodies, and souls to be true is often in direct opposition to it. Maybe you feel disconnected from your body, like you can’t trust it. I’ll bet you a free coaching session that culture made it so. Maybe culture told you that parts of your body were sinful, that you should look a certain way, that other bodies were lesser than your own. But here’s the rub, you need your body. Your body is on your side, it is for you. Your body has a higher intelligence than your ‘monkey mind’ that constantly assesses threat. Your body knows what’s actually true for YOU. So, you’re body stands between thought and behavior to keep you from doing something you’ll later regret.

If you want to stop doing x, y, or z, or be able to make a damn decision already, you probably need trace it back to Category #2 and declutter your thoughts. What thoughts are you turning over that are making you feel impulsive, indecisive, or whatever it is you feel that keeps you stuck. You can start by noticing your thoughts. Try meditating without trying to achieve the absence of thought. Instead, pay a helluva lot of attention to those thoughts. Listen to your thoughts like you listen to a politician…skepticism is your friend here. Maybe you can smell the BS in your thinking right away, but just observe what your primitive mind is doing. When you’ve got this down, pretend you’re a reporter interviewing the thought, ask it “now is that really true?” Again, observe the response. For an added bonus, check out some videos of Byron Katie doing ‘The Work’ if you want to see firsthand the magic of eliminating painful thoughts. I often help clients through ‘The Work’ or other thought-unraveling tools in coaching sessions. I also help clients to better listen to their bodies and their inherent truths. I’d love to connect with you and hear about what could be better in your life! Do the Four Categories resonate with you and bring awareness to your own patterns? If so, I’d love to hear about it. Drop me a line at marigoldinmay@gmail.com or book a free discovery call if you’d like to chat!

XOXO

Rebecca